Favourite fortune quotes

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

Barth's Distinction:

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Get forgiveness now -- tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

-- Mark Twain

Xerox never comes up with anything original.

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

-- Mark Twain

Time flies like an arrow

Fruit flies like a banana

You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.

pi seconds is a nanocentury.

-- Tom Duff

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.

If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?

Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are.

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

-- St. Augustine